Can You Come Up With Erotic Gay Scenarios With A Touch Of Humor?

18 Jul

Why dont you folks help me with Henry The Alchemist’s song. Come on, it’ll be fun.

So think Jekyll and Hyde. Banner and Hulk. Henry is a shy, nervous, science nerd. Alchemy is his thing. He hasnt had many boyfriends. When he does he’s pretty monogomous. Very not the fooling around type. Honestly, he’s simply way more into his alchemy then he is into socializing and takes his one one intimacy very seriously.

The town Henry lives in (not Lost Hallow) had some misfortune befall them and some type of interdimensional tear occurred near the town through which horrible, foul, unholy monsters can now come through, looking to destroy the town and suck the souls of its citizens like sucking on a popsicle. The town’s demise is clearly near. 

Henry has been working on an experimental formula…

You see where this is going?

Henry drinks the potion which changes him into Hurl, the Hyde/Hulk side of the equation. Pretty standard so far. Hurl obviously is a raging badass. Hurl can totally take on these hell monsters. Hell, Hurl loves it, as long as the alcohol doesnt run out. Hurl loves to drink, fuck and fight, in that order. Hurl is a ferocious Id. After Hurl defeats the monsters, Hurl does not like to change back into Henry, so he goes on 3 day benders. When Henry resumes consciousness days later he is often in some strange town 100 miles away, in some nasty room above a saloon, naked men passed out all over the room and no alcohol left in the entire bar. Sometimes the entire town.

Hurl causes trouble for Henry. The effects of the potion can never be undone.  So Henry tries not to change into Hurl. Oh yeah, the thing that triggers the change? Not anger. An erection. Whenever Henry gets aroused he changes into Hurl. So he tries to never get aroused. Except sometimes that’s unavoidable. And sometimes events make it necessary.

Heres where you come in. There are two types of situations which occur which you can suggest. ( I would add, this whole scenario can be deconstructed along sexual political lines which i promise, Han Mi does. For now dont sweat it and stick to the fun aspect). zplease suggest scenarios for either Situation A or B.

Situation A:

Just like Bruce Banner tries constantly to never get angry, Henry tries to never get aroused. Sometimes, despite their best efforts, this fails. These are instances of Situation A.

Situation B:

Holy fuckdangle! An ugly, unholy monstrously has breached the rift! That sumbich is headed right towards town! We need Hurl! However, Henry is not in an amorous mood. Maybe he even took something to keep his libido at bay. The mayor and city council are freaking out trying anything they can think of to get Henry horny. These are instances of Situation B.

It should be obvious the point is to have fun with this. All that homosexual subtext in Jekyll & Hyde? Fuck the subtext, lets throw it out on the table and wave it around the room. And who can resist taking all those Bruce Banner moments “No! I mustn’t… get… angry. Must… keep… calm…” and turning them into sex jokes. Plus i get make subtle, delicate horror meets western cowboy banjo funk, turns into industrial music meets  P-Funk choruses. Which… it sounds better in my head then it comes out on paper. 

Anyway, i will incorporate suggestions. The floor is yours.


Posted by on July 18, 2016 in Uncategorized


6 responses to “Can You Come Up With Erotic Gay Scenarios With A Touch Of Humor?

  1. J

    July 19, 2016 at 2:37 am

    I realize it isn’t exactly creative, but it’s all that comes to mind: He’d have to have a lot of ways to handle situation A, and keep coming up with new ones. If he goes back to the same thing repeatedly to keep things down, his brain would likely form an association which causes that particular course of action to become less effective with time. Not sure how well something like that could play into a concept album, since it probably requires a bit more build up to actually show the progression than there’s time for in the music.

    If I happen upon any other ideas I’ll let you know.

  2. Ollie Bellis

    July 19, 2016 at 9:22 pm

    I feel like there’s a lot more you could play around with in situation B, especially if you have some horrendous monster attacking the town and the only thing that’s stopping him from saving everyone is getting it up. I suppose you could even combine situation A and situation B together like he’s been struggling the whole time to keep it in check and then the one time he actually wants to get an erection he can’t do it even though usually it wouldn’t be a problem.

  3. Djake

    July 20, 2016 at 2:22 pm

    Haha! This is great! It sounds less “Jekyll & Hyde” or “Hulk,” and more “Ranma 1/2” meets “The Goon” – except, unlike Ranma, dousing Henry with cold water probably helps. :p

    As for creative advice, I’m picturing Scenario A as something like a sexually-charged take on Les Miserables:
    Henry, like Jean Valjean, starts the music out in a dungeon (of depravity), following one of Hurl’s benders and, after hearing what transpired there (They say erotica is when you use a feather; kink is when you use the whole chicken”), vows to walk the path of abstinence. He goes through the latter portion of the first act, working himself to exhaustion to protect people from the monsters and keep himself too worn out for anything but sleep. Throughout, Henry is “pursued” (mentally) by Hurl – the Javert of our plot-in-potentia, the devil on his shoulder – who reminds him of what he has done, claims he is irredeemable, and tries to take him back to the alehouse (not jailhouse) where he belongs.
    In Act Two, he meets a peer at the School of Alchemy or some such – a paramour who tries to talk him into taking a breather, relaxing and… so on. This ribald scamp admires more than Henry’s charity, and tries several things to arouse Henry’s libido – all to hilarious effect. Henry, of course, tries very hard to be all uptight and emo (“Don’t make me amative… You wouldn’t like me when I’m amative…”). All the while, the town’s defences are under siege, and people are crying out for their tall-dark-and-hunky saviour. Everyone but Henry is crying out for satisfaction!
    Act Three: The Climax… Henry’s would-be lover coaxes him to let go of his inhibitions; and, in Henry’s mind, Hurl does the same. In the background, the defences crumble, drawing a parallel to the metaphorical defences Henry has worked so hard to maintain (and perhaps including some of those multi-part polyphonies that help make the New Albion series the tour-de-force that it is). Innuendoes abound as “The gates are opening! Bring up the cannon! Is this the end for the Resistance?” and Hurl takes control. As it turns out, the paramour is perfectly happy with this; as a plot twist, maybe he met Hurl during one of the brute’s previous rumpuses, and was after the darker personality the whole time. The pair go out to “get to it,” (I mean to fight; what were YOU thinking?) with the paramour acting as Hurls’ queerleader (not cheerleader) as the big guy pounds the stuffings out of the monsters from beyond. Innuendoes continue to abound (“Gods that’s a big stick; I hope you know how to use it… Don’t be gentle now… Yes! Right there! Hit it harder! More! Oh, yeah!”). As the action hits its peak (yes, that’s another pun), the music rises, rises, and comes to a sudden stop – and everyone gets fulfilment except the monsters.
    For the closing scene, a narrator (or perhaps Hurl and the Paramour – whom I’ve decided to give proper-noun status :p ) give a recounting of how Hur took charge of the situation, and everyone was pleased with his firm hand; the creatures were driven back to the planet Hentai, and all was again right with the world. They hope the action was as good for the audience as it was for them. They tell the audience they have to go now, but that they promise to call again soon. The music drifts away, and leaves the listener in quiet.

    Looking up at what I’ve written, that description was longer and more detailed than I planned, but I hope you enjoy and get something productive out of it.
    As a final note: for some reason, I’m imagining Hurl’s voice to be the fellow who played the Blood Red Dogs’ commander in the Guide to Analogue Consciousness (perhaps it’s that line – “Twenty years here, dug in hard; where the party’s at, just gettin’ started!”) and Henry as the mildly melodic man who played Lee. Just a thought.
    Whichever way you go with this, it sounds like a lot of fun! Best of luck!

    • paulms

      July 28, 2016 at 10:02 pm

      Wow. Nice work, you really went all out.

  4. Beth

    July 28, 2016 at 9:31 pm

    XD @djake, (unless you already know this, and the “mildly melodic” thing was intentional) I don’t know how to tell you this, but I think Paul Shapera himself was Lee’s voice
    also “bring up the cannon! Is this the end of the Resistance?” really made me giggle (as a lover of dirty jokes and Les Mis, that was beautiful).
    Sadly all I can imagine is someone saying “is that a test tube in your pocket or are you happy to see me,” with a cocky smirk. Henry shifts uncomfortably, trying not to let his mind wander, and simply says “don’t be ridiculous, it would break; test tubes are glass!” then tries to distract himself with his work again. The guy mutters “I wouldn’t mind a piece of that ass,”
    “wait, what?!”
    “hey now, relax, it was just a joke.
    Would you mind if I poked
    around–in your lab, I mean”
    “fine, but be careful, sound carries, and I need
    to concentrate–”
    “don’t worry, it’s not my first time–around
    ‘equipment’ I won’t make a sound
    –unless you want me to”
    (clear throat awkwardly) “…excuse me, I have work to do.”
    I admit, I drew inspiration from Timothy and Zoe’s conversations in Slenderman for the rhyme scheme and internal rhymes of their lines.

    • paulms

      July 28, 2016 at 10:01 pm

      Wow. Excellently done.


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