Yiddish Curses

14 Sep

So i ran across a couple sites that have these Yiddish curses. I grew up with this sort of humor, and i gotta say, these are brilliant. So i’m reprinting my favorites here. Cause why not? In honor of Yom Kippur for those who observe.


  • May you have twelve healthy children.
    And then may someone give one of them a whistle.
  • May they find thousands of new cures for you each year.
  • May you run to the toilet every three minutes or every three months.
  • May you have devoted children to chase the flies off your nose.
  • May your daughter’s beauty be admired by everyone in the circus
  • May you grow so wealthy you can afford only the finest specialists.
  • May they name a baby after you!
  • (Traditionally, babies are named after *dead* relatives.)
  • You should find a gold piece on the sidewalk and be so arthritic you can’t pick it up.
  • Your nose should grow so much hair it strains your soup.
  • May your blood turn to alcohol so all the fleas on your body get drunk and dance the mazurka in your belly button!
  • May the sun and the spring breeze warm you and caress you like an apple as you hang from a tree.
  • May your bones be broken as often as the Ten Commandments.
  • May he have a big store full of goods: may people not ask for what he has, and may he not have what they ask for.
  • May you back into a pitchfork and grab a hot stove for support.
  • “Your head should be full of lice but your arms should be too short for you to scratch.”
  • May you lose all your teeth, except for one — and *that* one should hurt!
  • May you win a lottery,
    and spend it all on doctors.
  • May you live in a house with a hundred rooms,
    and may each room have its own bed,
    and may you wander every night from room to room,
    and from bed to bed,  unable to sleep.
  • May you grow so rich that your widow’s second husband
    never has to worry about making a living.
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Posted by on September 14, 2013 in Uncategorized


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